Sunday, April 08, 2007
Travel Blind?
Last week, after we met with our dossier coordinator we stopped in to say "hi" to our agency director. We talked a while about accreditation, regions and our referral options. He gave us the option of traveling to Ekat to meet a blind referral of a baby girl, about 18-months. As you know, that is a bit too young for us, and we would like to try to adopt siblings. So we said "no". It was a strange feeling - does this mean we have turned down a referral? It didn't seem like it because it was so outside of our preferences and we hardly discussed her.
Later in the day he sent us an email saying that two girls, four and six years old, would also be feasible through Ekat. We have been working through the decision of going now - yet blind - to a region notorious for long waits between Trips 1 and 2 (usually 3-4 months or more; keep in mind August is coming up as well), a judge who is particularly tough and paperwork picky, and we would have to do the 8-doctor medical in the US.
On one hand, we are excited about this option since we have good friends here in SD who are adopting twin girls from Ekat (they are waiting for trip 2), and they have just completed their 8-doctor medical so have "found" all of the doctors who are OK with doing the paperwork. Plus, I've always heard that the children are very healthy from this region, and the orphanages are in "pretty good shape", and the children are well cared for.
But we did choose Russia for our adoption because you typically receive some information upfront and that would allow us to move forward at our own comfort. That said, I know that referral information can be somewhat limited, or wrong, or imcomplete, so the only way to really know your children is to go over there first hand. (I'm sure you guys know all of the pros/cons here with blind referrals and they are churning over and over in our heads.)
Right now we think we are going to wait one or two months and see what happens with re-accrediation. Learn more about Ekat. Maybe more regions will open up. Maybe a region that is already working (independently) will have 2 girls with information and which fit our preferences. I think we can always decide to do the blind referral thing in June or July before the summer holiday hits, and have our three-four-five months start then. I'm just worried about going now, and having to wait until Sept or Oct to complete if we can't do both trips before August. And the blind referral thing wasn't something we were planning on so maybe once we learn more we'll feel more comfortable about this option.
Your thoughts and opinions are always welcome.
Later in the day he sent us an email saying that two girls, four and six years old, would also be feasible through Ekat. We have been working through the decision of going now - yet blind - to a region notorious for long waits between Trips 1 and 2 (usually 3-4 months or more; keep in mind August is coming up as well), a judge who is particularly tough and paperwork picky, and we would have to do the 8-doctor medical in the US.
On one hand, we are excited about this option since we have good friends here in SD who are adopting twin girls from Ekat (they are waiting for trip 2), and they have just completed their 8-doctor medical so have "found" all of the doctors who are OK with doing the paperwork. Plus, I've always heard that the children are very healthy from this region, and the orphanages are in "pretty good shape", and the children are well cared for.
But we did choose Russia for our adoption because you typically receive some information upfront and that would allow us to move forward at our own comfort. That said, I know that referral information can be somewhat limited, or wrong, or imcomplete, so the only way to really know your children is to go over there first hand. (I'm sure you guys know all of the pros/cons here with blind referrals and they are churning over and over in our heads.)
Right now we think we are going to wait one or two months and see what happens with re-accrediation. Learn more about Ekat. Maybe more regions will open up. Maybe a region that is already working (independently) will have 2 girls with information and which fit our preferences. I think we can always decide to do the blind referral thing in June or July before the summer holiday hits, and have our three-four-five months start then. I'm just worried about going now, and having to wait until Sept or Oct to complete if we can't do both trips before August. And the blind referral thing wasn't something we were planning on so maybe once we learn more we'll feel more comfortable about this option.
Your thoughts and opinions are always welcome.
8 Comments:
Adopt A Child.orgAdopting from Russia
Eastern European Adoption Coalition, Inc
Embassy of the Russian Federation
Families for Russian and Ukrainian Adoption
Karen's Adoption Links
Older Child Adoption
Russia Adoption Blog
Russian Adoption Medical Services
Russian Family Search
Russian Toys
Vernissage Press
Anyway, do your homework, yourself, but if you need to talk to someone w/experience that has gone there, I could refer you to a few of my e-mail friends who have survived the maddness. Good Luck!
Don't ever rush, or feel pressured. We didn't want to travel blind, but had waited over a year. Our agency called saying "I know you didn't want to travel blind, but....and we "bent" our own beliefs and travele anyway because we were tired of waiting and were getting impatient w/the wait. That referral didn't workout, and it turned out to be a pretty bad situation for us. Although our story has a happy ending now, I wish we had stuck to what we had originally wanted to do.
So, you will know when it's right. Good Luck.
I'm kinda new in bloggerland, feel free to check out my blog and/or add it to your blogroll...
jenniferventuri.blogspot.com
:)
Jen
I will tell you that we did lots of things we thought we'd never do to complete our adoption. We never expected the wait to be what it was. We didn't travel blind, but we found out that our girl had surgeries between trip 1 and 2 for things that we weren't notified of...lots of stuff like that. Our boy seemed to have major behavioral problems. And, ultimately, once we got the kids home they were TOTALLY different than they were in the orphanage. The referral information was grossly inaccurate. So, who knows. You're smart to sleep on it, and wait to see what happens, It also sounds like there's a lot to learn about Ekat (which I know nothing about).
But, it is pretty exciting to think of the possibilities!!
Can't wait to see how it all works out for you!
I think it is best to travel blind. We travelled both ways, our son was just perfect, and we lucked out, but our first referral for #2 was not what appeared in the photos and medical.
Good luck!
hugs,
Laura
With my referral, I received a a year-old video of the child and a VERY incomplete medical which consisted of a few lines of text. When I arrived at the MOE, we got some more information and finally at the orphanage, the director filled the gaps. Honestly, the information I had was nothing and I would have prefered to travel blind. I would have been better off. Instead, I ooh-ed and ahh-ed at a video that was not a true indication of who the child is today, and I freaked at medical information that was incomplete and vague. I suggest you go for the referrals offered to you, hire a Russian doctor to do a physical exam at the baby home and, if needed, consult with a US doctor skilled in international adoptions and medical issues via the internet. The US doctors accept photos and videos and can give you their two cents, and the Russian doctor is there to interpret the medicals at the baby home and to see the child. Sounds like a lot, but it's a pretty good way to go. If you're armed with the right tools, you'll be fine! I would definately prefer traveling blind to traveling with a false image in my head. Feel free to email me regarding my process...and have some coffee or chocolate and relax :)