Tuesday, May 22, 2007
This Week's Referral Debate
Ya'll have potty training woes, moving to Seoul packing to do, and meeting up with cute baseball players to keep you busy... We have American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, and The Bachelor finales. Yes, adoption was warped our brains. Well, maybe just Michael (I always liked reality TV). So tonight during the finale marathon, I thought I would give you our current thoughts on our referral process.
First and foremost, I think we've finally solidified our preference order: (1) two children (2) both girls (3) between 3-6 years old and (4) siblings. Michael is open to going older - like 16 years old (he jokes about this) - but I'd prefer to stay 6 and younger.
"Stay the course"
We decided to adopt two at once in order to increase the possibility of adopting siblings. We think it would be great to keep sisters together. Our agency director said referrals could come for us by/around September. Why change our plans for just three months? We are so excited to receive our referrals, and I feel relatively calm (well, most days) about the whole situation. Things always work out and timing always plays a big factor. We are enjoying our hobbies now - knowing that life as we know it will dramatically change in a matter of months. Let's have a beachy, carefree summer! Who wants to meet up in Vegas?
"Open our possibilities"
I am nervous to hold out until September. Are we being too specific with our preferences? What if re-accrediation is still looming and referrals continue to be slow? What if our first referrals don't work out? Siblings is a preference but not as important as sex or age.
What would be the harm in saying that we are open to non-siblings? We would expand our referral options immediately and could still end up with siblings. If we are presented with non-siblings first and if they are wonderful we would want to move forward with them. Biological or non-biological - doesn't matter to us. But I keep thinking... are we wanting to expand our options just to save a couple of months? I feel strongly that keeping two siblings together is better than none. (I also think about the siblings are children will probably leave behind and that makes me sad.)
Alternatively we can say to our agency that we are open to blind referrals. At this time, we are not interested in Ekaterinburg (see previous posts) but there are other regions that are working blind. Our agency director said that he can ask about siblings in those regions for us. Since referral information is rather limited anyways, what's the difference between traveling blind vs one pic (maybe) and limited/unreliable medical information? We have encountered so many successful blind referrals with our agency... this option is starting to feel less intimidating.
But then again, our agency director believes that once re-accrediation occurs (could be any day now), more referral information will be provided with the referrals like before. So, again, why go the blind route just to save a couple of months?
Geez, can someone just tell us when re-accrediation is going to happen??!!
First and foremost, I think we've finally solidified our preference order: (1) two children (2) both girls (3) between 3-6 years old and (4) siblings. Michael is open to going older - like 16 years old (he jokes about this) - but I'd prefer to stay 6 and younger.
"Stay the course"
We decided to adopt two at once in order to increase the possibility of adopting siblings. We think it would be great to keep sisters together. Our agency director said referrals could come for us by/around September. Why change our plans for just three months? We are so excited to receive our referrals, and I feel relatively calm (well, most days) about the whole situation. Things always work out and timing always plays a big factor. We are enjoying our hobbies now - knowing that life as we know it will dramatically change in a matter of months. Let's have a beachy, carefree summer! Who wants to meet up in Vegas?
"Open our possibilities"
I am nervous to hold out until September. Are we being too specific with our preferences? What if re-accrediation is still looming and referrals continue to be slow? What if our first referrals don't work out? Siblings is a preference but not as important as sex or age.
What would be the harm in saying that we are open to non-siblings? We would expand our referral options immediately and could still end up with siblings. If we are presented with non-siblings first and if they are wonderful we would want to move forward with them. Biological or non-biological - doesn't matter to us. But I keep thinking... are we wanting to expand our options just to save a couple of months? I feel strongly that keeping two siblings together is better than none. (I also think about the siblings are children will probably leave behind and that makes me sad.)
Alternatively we can say to our agency that we are open to blind referrals. At this time, we are not interested in Ekaterinburg (see previous posts) but there are other regions that are working blind. Our agency director said that he can ask about siblings in those regions for us. Since referral information is rather limited anyways, what's the difference between traveling blind vs one pic (maybe) and limited/unreliable medical information? We have encountered so many successful blind referrals with our agency... this option is starting to feel less intimidating.
But then again, our agency director believes that once re-accrediation occurs (could be any day now), more referral information will be provided with the referrals like before. So, again, why go the blind route just to save a couple of months?
Geez, can someone just tell us when re-accrediation is going to happen??!!
11 Comments:
Adopt A Child.orgAdopting from Russia
Eastern European Adoption Coalition, Inc
Embassy of the Russian Federation
Families for Russian and Ukrainian Adoption
Karen's Adoption Links
Older Child Adoption
Russia Adoption Blog
Russian Adoption Medical Services
Russian Family Search
Russian Toys
Vernissage Press
As far as referral info goes, I wouldn't necessarily plan on getting more information once reaccreditation happens. Many of the regions have gone to only 1 photo (if that) and databank info only. Databank info is very limited.
Ronda
First I go and comment to you about how 7 isn't so much different than 6, than I go and post about the rough day we had yesterday. Hope I didn't scare you away from 7. :)
Such tough decisions to make, so it's really impossible to give you advice, you just have to go with what you feel you want and is right in your heart. Hopefully it will all become clear to you soon.
On a lighter note -- I'm kind of a reality T.V. junkie too. My 10-year old daughter and I watch Survivor and American Idol together (I claim to only watch it for Mother/daughter time, but I do like it).
In regards to the adoption process, I believe that God will place the perfect two children into your lives. He already has them selected and when they are presented to you, you will feel it in your heart, whether they "fit" into all the parameters or not. I know this requires a great deal of faith to trust in His timing and to also trust that you will know when that timing is. Just continue to pray and keep your ears and heart open to Him. He is already preparing the hearts of your future little girls. Love you!
B&C were in the same groupa in their orphanage, and as a result, they were closer than some biological siblings would have been. Particulary if they were in different orphanages, or even different groupas. Its a hard decision, and such a personal one. If you have a clear vision of biological girl siblings, then go with your gut. I never had that clear vision of siblings. We just felt we wanted two children, whether they were related or unrelated.
Now to the important stuff (just kidding) I was happy with all three finales for once! How about you?
I'm hoping for the best for you, no matter what you decide, and am keeping my fingers crossed for a speedy reaccreditation and referral!