Friday, July 20, 2007
No More Thinking
Our agency is now looking for two girls between 3-6 years old. Bio or non-bio we would like to find the two girls who are meant to be our children.
I really thought Steve's post today on what he may or may not say on his blog about their referral was interesting. When we turned down our first referrals last week, I wasn't sure if I felt comfortable posting about them. But I did need to talk about it... and immediately knew that you guys would be my best audience for understanding and advice.
I remember the ups and downs from all of your adoptions, and have learned so much from them. I wanted to be open about our process and all of the decision making that will have to happen along the way. Now you will understand where we are coming from when I say that I'm not anxious to get our referrals. Well, I am ... but I'm not. After having the opportunity last week to travel, I really appreciate the need to make the hard decisions and do what is right for us and our family.
Going back to Steve's post, I am thinking about when and how we will post the information about our referrals. For our girls. Should I post something right away? Should I wait until we get the all-clear from the IA doctor? Should I write a post from Russia saying "we are here and said yes!"?
I'm not sure. I guess I have to wait and do what feels best at the time. I do know that there won't be two blogs going on. Oy! I can hardly keep track of one!
My question to you: How and when did you announce your referral news to your family? To your friends and co-workers? And on your blog?
Next post: We ask our agency director to tell us how the referral process works & the million dollar answer.
I really thought Steve's post today on what he may or may not say on his blog about their referral was interesting. When we turned down our first referrals last week, I wasn't sure if I felt comfortable posting about them. But I did need to talk about it... and immediately knew that you guys would be my best audience for understanding and advice.
I remember the ups and downs from all of your adoptions, and have learned so much from them. I wanted to be open about our process and all of the decision making that will have to happen along the way. Now you will understand where we are coming from when I say that I'm not anxious to get our referrals. Well, I am ... but I'm not. After having the opportunity last week to travel, I really appreciate the need to make the hard decisions and do what is right for us and our family.
Going back to Steve's post, I am thinking about when and how we will post the information about our referrals. For our girls. Should I post something right away? Should I wait until we get the all-clear from the IA doctor? Should I write a post from Russia saying "we are here and said yes!"?
I'm not sure. I guess I have to wait and do what feels best at the time. I do know that there won't be two blogs going on. Oy! I can hardly keep track of one!
My question to you: How and when did you announce your referral news to your family? To your friends and co-workers? And on your blog?
Next post: We ask our agency director to tell us how the referral process works & the million dollar answer.
10 Comments:
Adopt A Child.orgAdopting from Russia
Eastern European Adoption Coalition, Inc
Embassy of the Russian Federation
Families for Russian and Ukrainian Adoption
Karen's Adoption Links
Older Child Adoption
Russia Adoption Blog
Russian Adoption Medical Services
Russian Family Search
Russian Toys
Vernissage Press
I think we'd tell our family and close friends right away if we weren't worried about anything.
And then once we get a doc to review the medicals we'd post and tell everyone else.
That way if we decided to say no we won't have to tell everyone.
Looking forward to hearing how the referral process will work for you.
As for our referral, we told family and really close friends immediately. We did not have a blog at the time, but a Yahoo group, so we posted more information on there since only invited friends and family were able to view the page. If I got a referral today, I would definitely post about it on the blog, and if we accepted the referral, I might even post pictures (depending on the laws of the country from which I was adopting, of course). If we declined the referral, I would probably tell why, but would keep identifying info about the child confidential. Declined referrals are part of the adoption process - not every child is right for a family, and I think it's important for people involved with adoption or thinking about adoption to understand that.
However, I completely respect a family's decision to keep mum about their referrals too - it's such a personal thing that you need to go with what feels right for you.
Glad you made a decision. Must be a relief. As far as not sharing or sharing, obviously that's up to you. In my opinion, it's good to share your thought process. It helps other people feel like there are others out there going through the same thing. Or, in my case, it gives me perspective - if Frank and I ever have to make those decisions. If you choose not to share, that's cool, too. :)
I agree, do what seems right for you with the circumstances that unfold. So exciting, you are so close!
As for how to handle referral news, it's definitely whatever feels most comfortable for you. It's a tough lesson we've both learned, that referrals don't always work out.
Me, I've told close friends, family, and the blogging world at large right away, but withhold specifics from all but the closest. (And I still consider myself very much in the referral phase until I meet my munchkin!). There are also legal restrictions about posting pics, etc, before the adoption is final.
Meanwhile, best of luck to you in getting the right ones, soon!!!!