Bio Siblings vs non bio siblings.
I guess I have no great opinion on this issue. No bio might make your other options easier to fit into the picture. However I think it is amazing to keep siblings together. You have to listen to your heart on this one.

Age. Chose this with a no regrets attitude. The older the children the more of their life you have missed and the more possible attachment issues you will have.

Spacing. I would suggest at least 2 full years. I think I would want them to be at least 2 years a part in school. This way if the older needs extra time and the younger finds school easy they will not end up in the same grade. That would be a mighty blow to the self esteem.

Of course all of my opinion mean very little. I honestly think you have to listen to your heart. I think that all of our gut feelings on adoption help us find the child we are destined to parent.

I think you are doing a great job knowing what you want and what your family needs. Having children is a big deal. I also know that sometimes God suprises you unexpectedly with what you think you don't want, and it's perfect. This was our case.

In other words, you will know your children. Just as you said about the referrals you got. They just weren't yours. You are very smart people and will be terrific parents to two wonderful children. Your time is so close and I'm so excited.

Spacing. I have all spaces and I don't think issue, unless you have specific personality concerns.

Bio/Non-bio. No preference there I guess. I think bio is nice because sibling groups are hard to place, but all children need homes.

Age. I think your age range is great. BTW, you asked what 7 looks like. I consider 7 more like 6 than 8. They are still in the 6 range, only with a little more self management and maturity.

That's my input, but once again, you'll know your kids. I know you guys will make the right decision.

For what it's worth, I'm an over thinker/over analyzer as well! I think, when making such an important decision like this, overthinking is GOOD! So, good for you for making sure you're making the right decision! :-)

I'm sure your agency will be very helpful in giving their own opinions and convincing you that those opinions have worked out well in the past. If you agree, then great! If not, then stick with your original gut instinct. Either way, the more information the better, right? Just make sure you make the decision that is right for your family.

6blessings had a great assessment of what 7 looks like. I really agree with that assessment. I do think too, that you might be surprised that if the *right* referral came along, you may be open to a different arrangement than your ideal preferences. Gut feelings are important, and you have to listen to them. I think you'll know when you are presented with the ones who are supposed to be your children.

My opinions, for what they're worth...

Bio vs non-bio: Having been blessed with bio sisters, ages 4.5 and almost 3 at the time of adoption two years ago, it was a blessing having them knowing each other in advance. Although they were separated due to age at their baby house, they had still bonded previously with their 1st mom for a year and a half before being placed. I know closely of one family having non-bio kids, a boy and a girl, the same ages as mine at the time of adoption and they are not nearly as close or attached with each other as my bio kids are. Maybe a brother/sister vs sister/sister issue, too. Who knows.

Ages: Originally we "requested" two children (at least one being a boy) under 24 months. Within a short time we realized how unrealistic this would be with our agency and were called with a blind referral of two somewhat "older" girls. It was a shock after expecting at least one boy, (but really thinking we'd get two!) but we never hesitated. We feel we were called to be these girls' parents and it has worked out so well.

Spacing: Our girls are 21 months apart, which is just perfect, in my opinion. If we could have done things biologically, that's exactly how I would have planned it. I 110% agree with fuzzandfuzzlet about the school issue. My oldest did all right in kindergarten this past year, but there was talk mid-year about holding her back. My younger daughter has a late Sept. birthday and missed our state's K5 cut-off by 26 days. Had I decided to have her tested early (which she would have done very well) and we decided to hold her sister back, they could realistically be in the same class. This wouldn't have been good for either of them.

In the end everything will work out the way it should. It may not seem like it at the time, but you'll know it before too long! Best of luck to you guys. I'm enjoying reliving our experience all over again through you!

~Patti

Bio is my vote with 2 years apart and ages as young as you want to have.

I think it would be harder to place 2 from one family which might make it easier for you. Two years apart might make them closer to each other, and the earlier the influence from you, the better. Kids' minds are sponges. It's easier to learn something new than to try and break an old habit.

This is coming from a 60-year-old who has had 3 boys, 3 years apart, has 3 grandchildren, and has been a 7th grade teacher for 18 years so far.......so, take it in stride with everyone else, and go with your heart. Because you're detail-oriented and keep thinking a lot about it, you will feel like you have done everything you could have to get the children that are meant for you.

You will get 2 girls that are MEANT for you........

Best of luck with your meeting! B.Y. is the best, and he should help you clarify things.

As you probably know, we adopted bio sibs who were 3 and 4.5. If you have any questions about our experiences, feel free to e-mail me.

So, any news? How'd your meeting go? :)