All things considered this week hasn't been too bad. Fortunately work kept me busy - I traveled out to Boston and Chicago for sales meetings; and had to be back in CA for another one on Friday. It's been a week full of all-day sessions, networking, cocktail hours and 3-hour dinners.

We were hoping to hear from our agency this week. Perhaps more information on the three sisters, or an option to travel to the same region for two girls. Our agency was scheduled to be in the region for meetings this week so we were hoping to get some "special news" for our referral situation but there haven't been any updates yet.

So yesterday I cancelled our Aeroflot tickets ($200 penalty but we can use the fare on another trip within one year) and today I cancelled our Moscow hotel reservation. Last week all seems like a blur right now, and the emotions have died down. There is definitely a feeling of loss but I know that we made the right decision at the time.

I do wonder what would have happened if we traveled and met the girls. Did we find out this information in advance to save us the trip (ie. it wasn't going to work)? Or did we find out now so we could process our abilities (bandwidth and financial) to raise three children? (More on that on a future post.)

This experience has also made me realize all of the things I have put on hold this past year. And when things fell apart I really resented the sacrifices we made. Keep in mind last week I was thinking about calling this whole thing off - deciding to try to have children biologically and/or just adopt another dog brother for Thani. (We quickly got back on track.)

I felt horrible about not going back home to see our families and friends in the Midwest this past year. I haven't been pushing for that promotion at work because I wanted my "easy 9-to-5 job" with my great boss to come back to when the girls were home. I've felt bad that we didn't go on any vacations this summer or scheduled any camping trips or weekends away this Fall.

So the new game plan:
1. No more waiting on Russia. When it's time, it's time. Anything can be cancelled.
2. We are going to get our airline tickets to go home the first weekend of November to celebrate an early Thanksgiving with our family in Indiana.
3. I'm planning a weekend away. Maybe Portland to see Aoife and Jeremy who just had a baby three weeks ago.
4. I'm going to check out some new positions in another department (via cocktail hour I've learned that I've been unofficially considered). I'm also going to push for that boost in salary / title in my current role. I think I'll feel better about myself if I stay competitive at work.

Hope everyone is enjoying the nice Fall weather!