Tomorrow night, Michael and I are guest speakers at the Pre-Travel Meeting for our agency. We have been asked to discuss our referral and Trip #1 experiences.

Logistics Top 10

1. Know your referral preferences and be sure to communicate them to your agency. It's fine to change your mind during the waiting, or refine your preferences. Only you and your spouse know what is best for your family. Waiting for a referral, and considering a referral, has been the hardest step in the process for us.

2. Decide whether you feel comfortable with a blind referral, or referral with picture and/or medical information. What medical conditions are you willing to accept? Do you want to travel to a region where you can bring a Russian medical doctor? Are you going to hire a doctor in the US to review the medical information before or during your trip?

3. Decide early on what information you plan to share with your family, friends and co-workers. I would suggest making this decision before receiving a referral. Who are you going to tell that you.... (1) received a referral (if anyone)? (2) decided to move forward with a referral (before or after medical review)? (3) making travel arrangements? (Insert 2 personal stories here.)

4. Decide what personal information about the child you plan to share and with whom? We have chosen not to share any information with anyone. When asked, we simply say we aren't sharing information with anyone because we want M to know her history first.

5. The time between referral and Trip #1 is extremely busy and emotional. Plan ahead which travel agency you want to use (if any), what airline / flight options are available, and what hotel you would like to stay in Moscow. You can make reservations with Marriott hotels online. Contact the medical doctor(s) you have researched earlier in the process. Sign up with them in advance so they can review the referral information in a timely manner.

6. We arrived the night before we were scheduled to take the overnight train to the region. This allowed us to get a good night sleep, exchange some rubles and spend the day sightseeing in Moscow. We had our agency pick us up at the airport. It was expensive but reassuring that we had someone waiting for us at the other end to deliver us to the hotel.

7. Use the underground walkways when crossing the street in Moscow. The subway system is scary but doable. The Marriott Grand is a beautiful Western hotel but with expensive internet ($50/day) and food. There are tons of coffee shops with WiFi access (usually for a nominal charge) and light meals. There are many reasonable restaurant options in Moscow.

8. Have access to various payment options. We used credit cards for almost everything in Moscow (hotel, meals, coffee shops). In the region we were asked to pay for our hotel and train in rubles. Confirm what currency you need (and how much) with your agency.

9. Power converters... we didn't need them for our computer or cameras. We simply needed an adaptor. Charge your equipment at the hotel... it's hard to find public electrical outlets.

10. Educate yourself as much as possible. Read blogs, online message forums (Yahoo Russian adoption & regional specific groups, FRUA), and books... but your experience will be unique. Knowing what may happen or may not happen just makes you prepared for the "go with the flow" attitude you need when traveling.

Meeting Your Referral Top 10

1. Know what questions you want to ask your coordinator, the orphanage director and/or caregivers. Make a list. In the moment, it's very overwhelming to remember everything you want to ask. Take notes - it's impossible to remember the details.

2. Know what physical and behavioral issues you want to assess during your visits. If traveling with a doctor they can be an impartial observer and someone to discuss your concerns & questions. They can also ask the hard questions to the orphanage doctor.

3. Bring a variety of physical and low-key activities to engage your child. We brought a small ball, coloring books & markers, playdoh, books, etc. We also brought a stuffed animal that she held for comfort. That said, the biggest hit with our daughter was a balloon.

4. Bring a photo album with pictures of you and your family, house, neighborhood, school and activities you will do together.

5. Bring a selection of clothes (same store different sizes) and shoes so you can determine what size your child is. Leave all of the clothes with the orphanage as a donation.

6. Take lots of photos and video of your child, the orphanage, the town, caretakers, etc. We placed the video camera on a table and kept it running so we could both enjoy the limited time together.

7. Leave a disposable camera (labeled with name) so their caregivers can take pictures during the wait. Consider leaving a message book so their caregivers can write your child a message, tell a story about their time in the orphanage, or talk about their likes/dislikes.

8. We brought snacks (raisins, crackers, cookies) to share with our daughter but we kept busy with the activities and never brought them out at the orphanage. (They were handy when I woke up in the middle of the night and was starving!)

9. Learn as much Russian as you can. We used a variety of tools aimed at teaching adoptive parents basic kid phrases. (Learning the Russian alphabet is very helpful for deciphering Russian menus.)

10. Enjoy every minute. Trip #1 goes by so fast!