So I am sensing some disbelief that our transition is going as smoothly as my posts lead you to believe. And for the most part - say 95% of the time - we are doing great. But I also want to keep this blog real ... We do have (or have had) some issues. For instance ...

1. Rita can really dish out the potty talk. When we were in Russia, we were traveling with another family who was adopting an 8 year old girl and a 7 year old boy. Whenever they were together, Rita and the boy would go back and forth endlessly about the "logistics of bathroom activities". We understood some of the words and tried to get the translator to tell us what they were saying. She was too embarassed. But she did scold them, along with our coordinator and driver, and they also got the evil eye from them when they were starting up again.

2. Rita can spit like a baseball player. We learned about this on our second day with her. We were walking down the street, and all of the sudden a huge, sticky ball of spit came crashing down onto the sidewalk at like 30 miles per hour. I thought "Hmmm, wrong angle for Michael". We both looked at each other and said "Was that Rita?". Yes, it was Rita.

3. Rita finds burping and passing gas extremely amusing. We had Z discuss this with her on Sunday. eg. "It may be OK at the Children's Home, but here it is not acceptable and you will find it hard to make friends with that behavior." While we are OK with emissions that are based on biological need because her diet has changed and maybe she has giardia or something... we are still waiting results....we have reinforced that purposefully doing it and laughing about it is unacceptable and disgusting. Rita told us that she learned this behavior from the boys at the Children's Home and there was one boy she didn't want to be friends with because he did pass gas all of the time. We warned her that she may have the same situation if she keeps it up, especially around her new friends.

4. We are becoming extra extra familiar with public bathrooms. Rita can not hold it and we are constantly taking bathroom breaks. (Something else we will investigate with the doctor to make sure there isn't a physical problem here.) We are thinking it's a psychological thing.... in the orphanage she could use the bathroom within seconds so she isn't used to holding it. We've had a couple of accidents this week when we couldn't get to the bathroom in time. Fortunately we were at home both times.

5. Naptime. Since we may be sending Rita to school in the next 2-3 weeks, we have decided to forego naps and have one hour of quiet time - usually PBS television shows - after lunch. She seems much happier with this arrangement and I am relieved we don't have to have the daily struggle. Plus, she's sleeping better this week - asleep around 8:30PM and up at 6:30AM - so she doesn't seem to need a nap for that reason.

6. Discipline. Oh my. This girl just laughs at us whenever we try our "social worker friendly" discipline methods. Consequences do not work at all right now. When she is naughty and/or progresses "into the zone" she really doesn't care what we say and just taunts us with more bad behavior. She seems to be doing these things for attention so instead of giving her negative attention for the behaviors I have been trying a modified "holding time" after her third strike. I will hold her and have her look at me while I explain what she has done wrong. And tell her how I know she's a good girl and how she can be a good girl. (I'm not sure how well this is being received since she doesn't understand english but I do know a few Russian words to say and I think by my tone of voice she gets the gist.) At first Rita will resist being held (scratch, bite, hit) and so I have to hold her tighter. This will initiate a 5-10 minute crying drama (usually without tears - I'm not sure if she's just putting on a show) until she's done and then we discuss what happened and give kisses and make up.

It's weird because just as quickly as she goes into the zone; she's out of it and back to her normal self. Today she did surprise me with some new behavior ... when I told her she was in a time out - she tried to make things better by giving kisses and hugs. What? She thinks she can manipulate the situation! I (tried to) remain firm and consistent with the consequences. It's hard to reject a behavior we are trying to encourage. This is something we'll have to watch. It's hard to know whether we are dealing with post-institutional behavior or typical six year old behavior at this point.


OK, so there you have it ... it's not all spring flowers and hummingbirds over here!