Room To Grow

Thursday, March 06, 2008

Just checking in over here. Last weekend was a busy one. If I saw you in real life (like our adoption agency picnic) or talked to you on the phone (or more likely did NOT talk on the phone because I didn't have the time) and sounded out of it ... you probably caught me in between caffeine or sugar highs. We are settling into a routine, and we are building our stamina... but it's still hard to hold an adult conversation with a little one who constantly wants or needs your attention or when you are physically or mentally exhausted. Thank god for FMLA and not having to work!

We've been dealing with alot of testing over here. On Sunday we met Kristin at the mall to get some summer clothes because it's been sooo hot here (why we decided to move here from the Midwest this time of year). We had to leave as Rita got overstimulated and tired so all she wanted to do is touch things and bounce off the walls. She was so disappointed to leave - since Rita loves hanging around Kristin - but I quickly realized that it was time to go and we did.

On Tuesday we had a similar day. I knew from the beginning it was going to be a rough day. Rita was so cranky about everything and then she progressed to the naughty behaviors. So instead of television "quiet" time she had to take a nap and she TOTALLY fought this with everything she had in her. After three hours she agreed to at least lay in her bed and read stories. What do you guys do when the bad behaviors go on and on and on? We do the "time in" thing & consequences (which she's understanding better) but that just makes her more grumpy and do more bad things ...

That said, we did have some fun in the morning... Rita got to ride her new bicycle (from Sammi and Sasha!) for the first time and she did great! I don't know if she rode a bike with training wheels before but she picked it up very quickly and rode back and forth on our patio pavement (falling in the grass at either end).

Today we went to the school and submitted her enrollment papers. I am hoping we can get her started March 17th. She was so disappointed to leave the school! She's ready to go!

Written at 1:14 PM by A Room to Grow.

9 comments

9 Comments:

Maggie said...

Glad to hear how things are going. Regarding the discipline, that's how it was with Slugger in the beginning, too. The more I would do time ins or discipline or set boundaries the more he would act up. I think you just have to be consistent. Eventually, she'll come around.

3:23 PM PST

Rachael said...

We had lots of overstimulation meltdowns and acting out with Katya in the beginning too. I'm not sure if any one discipline technique did the trick, or just tincture of time, because eventually she outgrew it (save for the occasional bad day). I agree with Maggie, just be consistent. It'll get better when she gets used to you and your routine, etc.

3:34 PM PST

sandy said...

What a completely different life she is having... I would imagine that it's hard for her not to test you. It's like all of a sudden she is a princess in a fairytale! So many opportunities, so little time... good luck!

4:41 PM PST

nates5bs said...

I know you don't know me, but I read your blog often since we are between trips & adopting a 3 1/2 year old little girl from Murmansk. My husband and I have watched you walk through the steps right before us. Thanks for paving the way!

We have 4 bio kids so I want to encourage you to keep doing what you are doing. Your consistency with Rita will pay off. You are planting the seeds without seeing any fruit right now, but the fruit will eventually come if you press on in this hard job of parenting.

You're doing a good job!

9:17 PM PST

Jennefer said...

The first year is hard, but it gets better. Just try to persevere in giving her a lot of attention, love, listening, affection and learning. I know it is hard and you just need time for yourself, but it gets better with time. Take breaks if you can.

2:03 AM PST

Lauri said...

Hang in there.... great job about reading her cues and knowing when she was overstimulated

4:08 AM PST

Mike & Lisa said...

Hi, I was going to mention, before I read the last paragraph, that it is probably time for her to get into school. She can use the routine, and you can use the break! It is hard to entertain a young child 24/7, and although you need to get those errands done and the shopping is fun, the new kids go up the wall at stores and shopping centers. I used to save all shopping (even for N &N) until my husband could stay with them and I would go alone or with my bio kids. Now shopping is fine, but it took a while. They just get too wound up with excitement. As everyone has said, it will get better, but she will test you and you just have to be the stronger one! I think you are doing great!

9:08 AM PST

Rhonda said...

I agree with everyone who says to stay consistent. If it works, then go with it. We had a bit of an extreme situation with Bonnie, but I can tell you that time-in never worked for us. We did holding time with her for bonding, but we still had to work with other things for discipline. I started taking away toys, privileges, etc. That worked with her much better. Each kid seems to respond differently to different methods.

You are doing so well with Rita. You know her better than anyone, and its always a wise Mom who knows when its time to leave :) Great job!

6:06 PM PST

Ryan and Katie said...

Sometimes when my kids get out of control they need me to help them learn ways to get self-control. Not being able to communicate with Rita presents problems I realize. As my kids freak out I calmly say, "You need to get self-control. Fold your hands and take some deep breaths." If they do this it seems to make them concentrate on the hand folding and breathing and then I can reason with them. If they choose not to calm down. I just put them in their room and say, "You need to stay in here until you get self-control. When you calm down you can come out so we can talk." This typically works. NOW, having said that I am not sure that is the right thing to do with a newly adopted child that does not understand English well. I guess the point is that their little minds sometimes get going and they need some techniques for how to calm down. The above comments of being consistant is also key.

5:58 AM PST