Rita is back at school this week. It's also my last week of leave from work. There are a number of posts that I'd like to accomplish in the next few days so I will write them down here.

1. Our last week in Russia - logistics and thoughts
2. Parasites, viruses and bacterial infections - the untold story
3. How our adoption was different than other Russian adoptions
4. Why adopting an older child is amazing

Over the last 8 weeks that we have been home we have made some great progress. I think I can say that we feel like a family. We have a routine which involves school, work, daily chores, meals, grooming and fun. We know each other well enough that we now enjoy (read - not totally stressed out) being around other people that we know (or don't know) so we are getting out more. We are understanding each other better with Rita's amazing ability to communicate with us with her mimes, basic Russian, and a few English words here and there. She is so patient with us and has never gotten frustrated at us for not understanding. She couldn't be a more perfect fit for our family and has totally exceeded our expectations on what our new child would be like.

I think what has also happened in the last eight weeks, is that my confidence as a parent has reached a level where I am comfortable about my abilities, and the decisions we are making. To be honest, going into this I was so nervous about whether I could do it. The whole motherhood thing to me was a scary deal. Add to that all of the challenging stories about raising an adopted child in books, message boards and blogs. I'm learning that there are alot of methods and opinions about raising a child - and sifting through all of that feedback and coming up with our own strategy, is hard but something we need to do. There are no magic answers or right & wrong.

Also - I feel different than I thought I would at this point. I am not guilty about going back to work - and in many ways I am looking forward to being around my colleagues again and the intellectual stimulation. I don't think I would prefer to be a SAHM (as much as I thought I would) and I am coming to terms with that. (Sort of thinking - wow, my life right now isn't what or where I expected it to be at this point.)

In some ways it feels like the last eight weeks have been a condensed version of the first 6 years of Rita's life. I've gone from "giving birth" (adoption process) to "toddler time" (parenting basics, learning the house rules & discipline) to "school age child" (now) at warp speed. I still have to remind myself daily that I'm the one who has to do stuff like cut her toenails, get her haircut, or bring everything (water, snack, kleenex, wipes, sunglasses, etc) if we are gone from the house for more than 2 hours. We have survived the last eight weeks and I'm proud of that. But a little part of me feels sad that this time - my symbolic "maternity leave" - is over. And right now we don't know when - or if - we will experience this part of parenthood again.