I have time to blog about one of three things -

1. My second beef brisket I cooked last night. It turned out great. I'm not used to cooking such a huge chunk of meat.

2. Work. Balancing with my home life. Happening sort of hap-hazard at the moment. Stretched kind of thin in both places but surviving better than I thought. Next topic.

3. How Rita got kicked out of school on Wednesday. She can't go back until Friday.

OK, I'll choose #3...

Monday
Rita came home from school full of energy but not receptive AT ALL to doing some homework. Usually we start with practicing the spelling words. On Monday, she fought all of the way. Then we started reading practice for 20 minutes. Which turned into 1.5 hours of reading nicely, acting up, timeouts, reading with a snotty attitude, and grumpiness. Michael and I also noted that she was acting like she didn't understand or speak any english. We just thought that since it was her first day back to school after her 2nd eye operation that she had a long day at school and was tired.

Tuesday
The school nurse called me at 11AM to tell me that Rita got hit in the head during recess with a ball. She didn't cry or seemed bothered by it - but since the ball hit her exactly where her surgery was - her girlfriends took her to the nurse to check it out. The nurse put some ice on her eye (it looked fine - just a little red), checked her vision and sent her back to class.

When Michael picked Rita up from school, her teacher told him that Rita was taken to the principal's office for kicking classmate "P" in the head - seemingly unprovoked (the teacher was right there when it happened). To teach Rita a lesson, the teacher decided to take her to the principal's office for a firm warning that kicking is unacceptable at school. The teacher didn't make a big deal of it. She said that everything seems fine with Rita - just a moment "out of character".

Wednesday
I receive a call from the school nurse that Rita is in the principal's office again for kicking "P" and her teacher. We must pick her up right away. Michael went to the school immediately and we learned what happened. During a classroom activity they were working through a math lesson via "stations". Rita left her station, went over to "P" and stomped on his finger and then kicked him in the stomach. As her teacher went over to stop the situation and give Rita a timeout, Rita started to run out of the classroom. Her teacher grabbed her, there was a struggle - Rita banged her elbow on something - and then started to kick her teacher. She was yelling and uncontrollable. Apparently, another teacher came to the rescue and Rita's teacher took her to the nurse and principal. They spent some time talking about what happened, and shared an ice pack (the teacher has bruises on her shins). But due to the school's no tolerance policy, Rita had to go home and was not able to go to school again today. She will go back tomorrow (Friday).

We have talked to Rita about what happened and she doesn't have any explanation (taunting by "P" or the other kids, something that happened on the playground, making fun of her eye, etc). We called N at our adoption agency and she tried to speak with Rita in Russian. Rita wasn't very receptive to any questions in Russian; and when she did listen she would reply in English. She told N that she understood everything we were saying, understood what she did in school was unacceptable and "was sorry". We also brought her by the adoption agency today to see if talking to N in person would help. N said that Rita is having a hard time speaking Russian. She doesn't know all of her words anymore.

We appreciate that this may be a phase or testing period, maybe she's showing her true (lack of) socialization skills, an issue with impulse control, or maybe all the stuff with her eye is getting to her. Add to that her current situation with communication - loosing her Russian but not knowing English yet. I wouldn't be surprised if she is getting comments at school from the kids about her eye (not to mention her language skills and general awkwardness) and now that she is understanding the kids (because she seems to totally understand what we are saying) she is taking it hard(er) and wants to "fight back".

So, we are trying to be firm about the seriousness of her offenses but also treat it as a result of her history and/or what she's going through ... and who can really blame her to have moments like this??! When I talked to her teacher yesterday she was really cool about the whole situation and seems to be on the same page as us. She also said that "P" is OK (thank goodness), and the parents know what's going on and aren't freaking out - they understand the situation too. Her teacher definitely sees Rita's "potential" - academically and everything - and wants to work things out as a team. She has suggested a therapist to rule out anything more serious and to give Rita some professional resources to work through anything we need to.

It was interesting to note that "P" is smaller and a shy boy. As some of my friends have noted when I talked to them yesterday, it is typical Children's Home behavior to pull rank on the younger/smaller kids and be rough with them. And, in general, the children are alot of rougher with each other at the Children's Home. And Rita's situation also happened when the classroom was rotating through a activity which may not have been enough structure for her. Rita stays on task when there is structure (her teacher realized this may be an issue).

Other consequences (besides having to stay home with Michael all day)....We've taken away TV yesterday and today. We also had her write apology letters today to "P" and her teacher. We are hoping this was an isolated situation. Fingers crossed for school tomorrow. We have a "good behavior" visit to the ice cream parlor riding on it.