My heart is so heavy tonight for the 700,000 orphans in Russia. And for the families in process (500-1000 is the last count I heard).  I feel so fortunate to have my two daughters home.  I cannot imagine my life without them.  I can't imagine my life with different children.  These girls were so meant to be ours. We had to go through a crazy amount of paperwork and travel six times to Russia to make it happen.  Yet, I would do it over and over again.  I am heartbroken that there may not be more stories like ours. It doesn't make sense to me that as a society we are not making the needs of these children our priority.

Many people have asked... "Why did you adopt from Russia?  Especially when there are so many children in need of homes in America?"  I have seen this comment (more like harsh statements) in many of the news articles about the ban on Russian adoptions.

Long story short - we felt connected to the country of Russia and the circumstances of Russian orphans. We wanted to adopt children whose heritage we could bring naturally and wholeheartedly into our home. 

My grandmother's father and mother came to America in the early 1900s from Russia (now Ukraine and Lithuania).  They were likely poor, uneducated but hardworking young people, who wanted to make a new life for themselves.  I loved my Grandmother dearly.  I grew up with Russian food and going to my Grandmother's Russian Orthodox Church on holidays.  It was really the only culture I identified with as I was growing up. 

I remember wanting to know more about our Russian family, and to travel to Russia someday to see where I came from.  After college, I learned about the socio-economic situation in Russia which led to the abundance of orphaned children.  I learned children are usually orphaned due to neglect, alcohol or drug abuse, death, poverty or crime.  Once children are identified to be in one of these situations, they are removed from the home, put into an orphanage, and the local social services department starts the process of working with the family to fix the situation, or end the situation (termination of parental rights).

I learned that in Russia, adopting a child is not common for Russian families.  Orphans are deemed "unworthy" and "unlucky".  Also, many families in Russia do not have the means to provide for an orphan, much less one with health or behavioral issues. 

We saw stories on television about hosting programs for older Russian orphans.  We thought we wanted to adopt from Russia for all of these reasons but researched other options including domestic adoption.  Every other option - including having our own biological children - just didn't feel right.  We do not agree with the fundamentals of the US system (another story) and did not want an open adoption.

After going through two adoptions I have learned that you have to follow your heart and do what is best for you and your family. Someone told us that early on and this was great advice. You need to adopt from the circumstances that you can manage (health, behavioral, social circumstances) and even more important, what "feels right" for you.

And why not Russia?  When I have chosen my friends, education, employment, travel destinations,  future family additions (!!!) ... I have never thought what is only available to me within United States borders.  My world is global and a child in need in Russia is just as important as a child in America.

I'm so hurt by the actions of the Russian government.  I liked what I knew of Russia growing up  And through our two adoptions (especially our last one), I grew to love Russia.  I loved visiting the country, learning about the history, the loved the people, culture and food.  We had some wonderful experiences and memories of Russia.  I have been looking forward to taking my girls back to Russia (once they are older) to experience more of their culture and learn more about their history.

This year I learned to make borscht from scratch.  Do you know how long it takes to cut up all of those beets, carrots, celery, onions and tomatoes!!!  A test of my love for Russia for sure, right?!

Through the years I have heard that Russians do not like Americans who adopt from Russia. I don't think this is true. I've heard that Russians are outraged by this ban as are many Americans. Although we didn't "flaunt" being American or the fact that we were adopting a Russian child when we were there either time, we never got rude stares or comments on the streets of Russia.  Every Russian I have ever told about my children (in Russia, on the plane, in the United States) have thanked us for opening our homes and hearts for the children.  They literally love our adoption stories and tell us it's a wonderful thing we have done.

Yes, I think it's crazy that I had to travel 6,000+ miles to bring home my daughters.  I have spent countless flights, trains, car rides and dog walks thinking about how crazy it was for us to do this ... but now that they are home it makes complete sense. They just "fit" here with us. It's fate or destiny or whatever you want to call it.

I wish there were not any orphans to adopt in this world.  Alternatively, I wish there were adequate resources and systems in place to care for the children and to find them homes.  In Russia or outside of Russia.  This ban was put in place way too quickly, for the wrong reasons, and without enough resources to make this happen for the children.  And because of that, I'm afraid the children, and the orphanage staff who work so hard to care for the children, with suffer.